


symmetry

by brightsmoon



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Kid Fic, Married Life, Mentioned Character Death, Minor Aang/Katara, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Sokka/Yue, Naked Cuddling, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Post-Canon, Post-War, Promises, Protective Sokka (Avatar), Protective Suki (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 10:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightsmoon/pseuds/brightsmoon
Summary: Sokka never sleeps well during full moons.





	symmetry

**Author's Note:**

> oKAY DON'T SNIPE ME BUT I JUST WATCHED THE EMBER ISLAND PLAYERS EP WITH PETRA (I'M WATCHING ATLA FOR THE FIRST TIME) AND I COULDN'T RESIST WRITING THIS. SUKKA STOLE MY WHOLEASS HEART FROM THE FIRST EP THEY WERE IN TOGETHER AND I'VE BEEN UTTER TRASH SINCE. apparently in lok they never mention suki and we don't get much sokka content and no canon future of them together which is _absolute bullshit_ so here's my take on their lives after the war.
> 
> the original characters are my hc kids for them, kairi and koda. they're twins but kai was born ten minutes earlier than her brother. you'll see a lot of them in my upcoming fics and will learn a lot more but for now enjoy the sukka hurt/comfort ft LOTS of hurt and soft dad!sokka and mom!suki content uwu
> 
> title ; [symmetry](https://genius.com/Jt-roach-symmetry-lyrics) by jt roach and emily warren. i literally almost named this fic "breakable heaven" but figured that naming a fourth fic after a lover lyric was a Bit Much.
> 
> shoutout to kuki and petra on twitter for listening to me yell about sukka at all hours of the day (and night). this for you, loves!!

Suki’s always been a light sleeper - a habit she’s never quite broken since being on Kyoshi Island;  _ a warrior’s instinct, _ Sokka calls it (which has both conveniently and awfully come in handy since Kairi and Koda were born) - so when a leg knocks into her knee in the middle of the night, she's awake immediately. 

The room is dark, the only light streaming in through the window being beams of the full moon and Suki’s still shaking off the lingering tendrils of exhaustion when there’s a whimpering noise next to her. The rustling of blankets follows a second later and Suki’s face falls at the sight.

“Oh,  _ Sokka _ .”

It’s no secret her husband struggles from nightmares and although they’re few and far between, Suki does as well. Most nights the other’s arms and the reminder of the twins in the next room over is enough to chase the demons away but it seems it’s not enough this time. She knows why, secretly.

Sokka never sleeps well during full moons. 

Laying in bed next to her, her husband’s face is screwed up and shining with a thin layer of sweat. His legs jerk every few seconds and firmly within the grasp of his nightmare, his head tosses back and forth. Eyes usually so filled with love and warmth, creased at the edges with laughter are scrunched with tension and fear, trapping him in delusions of his own brain’s making.

Suki’s heart wrenches in her chest. “Sokka,” she murmurs, hand on his shoulder. “Sokka, wake up. It’s just a dream.”

_ “No,” _ Sokka whimpers, fingers twitching by his side. "No _ , please."  _ He babbles something she doesn’t catch and his leg kicks out again. 

She cups his cheek and it seems to still him for a minute. “You’re okay,” she soothes, the other hand rubbing up and down his arm - the fingers still twitching like they’re reaching for something. “You’re okay, baby, it’s just a dream. Come back to me, Sokka.”

_ “Yue.  _ Yue, no, _ please.  _ Please _ .” _

Suki freezes as Sokka’s entire body suddenly stops thrashing, going eerily still. Lungs burning with breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, she watches as a single tear rolls down her husband’s cheek.

“Oh,” she whispers, heartbroken. “Oh, oh no. Sokka, come back. You’re okay, you’re safe, wake up _ .” _

His forehead knits, head pressed into the pillow. “Yue,” he murmurs, eyebrows furrowing, voice rising. “No!  _ No! _ ”

Suki clamps back a shriek as he sits straight up, arm extended, fingers reaching. “SUKI!  _ NO! _ ” he screams and the moonlight across the floor seems to quiver as his eyes snap open. 

Wild eyes roam the room for a split second before he sees her. Suki can  _ see _ the exact moment he puts the pieces together - gaze darting from the open window to how she clutches the blanket to her chest, drawn back, scared not  _ of  _ him but  _ for  _ him. 

Sokka’s chest heaves. “I’m sorry,” he gasps out, dropping his face into his hands. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Sokka,” she murmurs and scoots forward to press her back into his shoulder, chin resting on his shoulder as she wraps her arms around his bare chest. “It’s okay, you're okay. I got you, come here.”

He turns to physically crumple into her touch. Suki leans forward to wrap her arms around Sokka, holding him close as he presses his face into her neck and breaks. 

She closes her eyes and hugs him tight as he weeps. Huge, shuddering sobs already dampen the collar of her nightclothes but Suki can’t find it in herself to care. Praying neither of the twins woke up because there’s no way she’s going to leave him right now, she leans back into the pillows, bringing a limp Sokka with her, bodies pressed together. 

“You’re safe,” she murmurs continually, a chant to calm the war drum of his heart pressed against her sternum. “You’re safe, Sokka. I’m here.”

He exhales shakily against her jaw and she rests her chin on his head. They’re already pressed together with only thin nightclothes separating them but Sokka’s fingertips scramble across her back in a mad search for skin. 

It’s not enough. She knows he can hear her heartbeat but his isn’t calming down - it's still a jackrabbit on the run. His breath is still coming quick and short and Suki knows that if it doesn't smooth out soon, he'll send himself spiraling into a panic attack.

Sokka needs  _ more _ .

Suki makes up her mind in a split second. There’s been no movement from the room next door, no sleepy kids at the door wondering why daddy woke screaming. She's never been more thankful the twins can sleep through a tornado than when she unwinds herself from Sokka’s octopus-like grasp. 

Her husband makes a keening, desperate noise and she clicks her tongue comfortingly.

“I know,” she whispers as she brings her thin top up over her head. “I know, babe, hold on.”

She wrestles off the shorts and left only in her underthings minus her breast bindings - she never wears them to bed - pulls Sokka in again. As soon as his sweat-slicked flushed skin meets hers, he sighs and sinks into it, going almost completely slack.

Suki smiles. “Good,” she whispers, “you’re doing great. Just breathe, Sokka. Come back to me.”

With one hand she draws the thin blankets back over them, wrestling for a moment to untangle them from his legs before bringing them up to her chest. Sokka is almost fully laying on top of her, his face pressed into the crook of her shoulder and she holds him tight. 

A single ray of moonlight falls across his cheekbones and he turns his head the other way, nestling his ear into her sternum. Suki relaxes back into the sheets and lets herself trace the line of spine.

He’s still shaking minutely and she runs the other hand through his hair. Since the twins were born he’s let it grow out a little, now falling around his ears and when he shifts, the scruff of his beard scrapes her skin softly. It's a feeling she's grown used to and usually lights a fire low in her belly but there's nothing except a faint buzzing.

They’re almost both entirely naked with every body part lined up but there’s nothing sexual about it, just a soft intimacy shared between two people in love. It's been a while since they did this; quietly laid together and let the warmth and silence soak into their skin.

Sokka is boneless against her and he breathes with her, their diaphragms pushed together with every inhale and subsequent exhale. Suki lets her short nails scratch light circles behind his ear.

"Breathe."

He does.

Neither one of them are strangers to this breathing exercise. In through the nose, out through the mouth until the shadows disappear from the edges of their vision and the world is in color again. Sokka's breath is warm when it puffs against her collarbone and her breathing ruffles the ends of his hair, tousled by sleep.

She doesn't know how long they lay there but Sokka starts talking.

"I saw her," he murmurs, voice scratchy and breaking over each syllable like a wave thrown against the rocky shore. She doesn't say a thing, just listens, fingers rubbing up and down his spine, his chest pressed to hers, their legs tangled together. "I saw her - I saw Yue. In the dream. She was  _ there,  _ like that night, and then she wasn't, and the fish, t-they-"

His voice trails off at the end slowly and she holds him close. It's an unspoken thing between them, sharing nightmares but they both know how they can fester when left in the dark. Suki knows the shaking of his hands intimately well - she's had her own nightmares; her time at Boiling Rock, falling, all the times she's brushed with death and almost lost it all.

She has more to lose now - two sleeping kids in the room over and the man in her arms - and she  _ understands. _

Sokka has the same thing.

He's still talking, struggling to speak through shaky breaths. "Then we were at the Fire Palace and Azula was there, you  _ weren't  _ you were  _ gone  _ and I didn't - I didn't  _ know-" _

"I'm here," she whispers fervently. "I'm here now, Sokka. You got me, I'm safe. We're here."

"You fell and didn't...didn't come back."

"Oh." Her heart breaks and she presses her lips to his forehead, lips trembling, eyes squeezed shut. Hot tears drip down her cheeks, sliding down her chin and into his hair and they're silent. Close. 

Sokka holds her just as tight, hand snaking between the pillow to cup the back of her head like he did that day at Boiling Rock. Even all these years later, the motion reminds Suki of that moment - his tear-filled eyes as he held her, his arms around her shoulders, palm cupping her cheek, his lips on hers.

"I came back," she whispers. "I'll always come back. Promise."

Sokka leans back, lifting his ear from her chest to look at her. "Don't."

There's something so vindictive in his tone Suki pauses, eyes searching her husband's. He's staring at her, pinning her against the sheets with more than his gaze, pleading just as clear in his eyes as despair.

"Don't what?"

"Don't make a promise you can't be sure you'll keep," he pleads without missing a beat. He grasps her biceps. "Please, Suki. Don't promise me that."

She closes her eyes to his intense stare. "Sokka-"

" _ Please." _

"Then you can't promise the same," she shoots back but there's nothing hostile in her tone, just acceptance. They both know the risks they took as teenagers, the risks they face even now with the war over. "So don't, don't even try, unless you'll let me."

Silence falls between them and he drops his head. "I know," he murmurs so quietly she almost doesn't catch it.

Suki nods, an idea churning through her head. Smiling to herself she slips from beneath him, shrugging on her robe by the end of the bed and tying the knot. Suki holds out her hand. "I have something you need to see. Are you feeling steady enough to walk?"

Sokka's smile is crooked, a little shaky, but familiar. Maybe not fully genuine, only there for her comfort but it's close enough to the expression Suki recognizes that her shoulders relax as he slips his hand into hers.

They don't go far. A few steps down the hall and Suki is sliding the twins' door open, the floorboards creaking slightly underneath their bare feet.

Both children are fast asleep, Kairi's fist grasping at the stuffed flying bison that had been a present from Katara and Aang when she was born. On the other side of the room, Koda sleeps soundly face-down, cheek smushed into the pillow and stuffed lemur laying nearby.

Sokka drops his head. "Suki-"

She grasps his shoulders.

"Listen, Sokka. Please."

He goes quiet. Her breath comes in an uneven edge and she lets her hands fall to his biceps, down his arms to hold his elbows. "If you won't let me promise I'll always come back, and you won't promise it to me, I need you to promise it to  _ them.  _ Them, Sokka, your children. I know with everything that's happened it's hard but you have to swear to me that you'll swear to them. Kairi and Koda need their father - you know how hard it was growing up without your father."

"You then, too."

Suki blinks. "What?"

"I know how hard it was growing up without a father," he says and takes a step forward. "But I also know how difficult it was without my mother. If you make me swear to always come home to them, you have to as well or I won't. They need me as much as they need you - as much as _I _need you."

"Don't you dare," she hisses but Sokka's face doesn't budge. Her will crumbles at the hard line of his lip, telling her that he's not going to cede to her this time. They're both self-sacrificing idiots but they can't do that anymore.

She drops her forehead to his chest. "I swear," she murmurs. "Now you."

"I swear," Sokka whispers and she leans forward on her tiptoes to kiss him before his lips are even done forming the words. There's a desperation in her chest that grasps at his neck and he comes willingly.

Suki doesn't realize she's crying until Sokka's hand ghosts by her jaw and comes away wet. Foreheads press together and she opens her eyes, tears dampening her cheeks as she sweeps his own away.

When she rests her head on his chest, ear pressed to the heartbeat in his chest - a reminder of them not moments ago in the opposite roles - Suki finds that their fingers tangle together. They stand there, in the doorway, watching the rise and fall of the twin's chests and Sokka's voice rumbles in her head.

"Let's go back to bed," he hums. "Don't want to wake them."

"No," Suki smiles and follows him out, hand-in-hand, pausing before the door slides closed behind her. She lets herself memorize the faces of both her children as she does every night as if to remind herself they're real - this life, this  _ future  _ is real. "No, we don't."

Sokka's lips are at the crown of her head. "You're staring again, my love."

"Goodnight," she whispers. "Goodnight, babies. We'll see you in the morning."

It's a swear, a promise, and Sokka's soft smile lights her chest from the inside out. Suki leads him back to bed and goes to put her top back on but Sokka's hand on her arm stops her.

"Keep it off," he smiles. "Come to bed, Suki. We're here, they're safe."

She climbs into bed and when Sokka quietly asks if he can hold her, she says  _ yes.  _ His arms wrap around her waist from the back and she can feel his smile against the nape of her neck.

"I love you," her husband grins and kisses her again. His voice is soft, as bright and hopeful as the moonlight that falls across the floor. 

Suki closes her eyes. It's a promise, one they make to each other and their children every single day. It's a promise she can keep.

She keeps it every day.

"I love you, too."


End file.
